Welcome to Jakesgoodnewport!
It's dinner time when I say it's dinner time! What? Does it look like I have three sets of arms or something?! Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
Mommy loves you. She loves you more when you're at summer camp. But either way, she loves you. Super-insulated. 100% cotton.100% cottonSuper-insulated
MMMM kale and radish and peas and tofu?! Gimme some of THAT! Super-insulated. 100% cotton100% cottonSuper-insulated
Maybe it's a warning, maybe it's a statement of fact. Whatever it is, it's pink and cute and a damn near perfect match for your kitchen. Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
Who's a hero? YOU'RE A HERO. Congratulations, my dear. Please, have a slice. Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
My favorite part about this oven mitt is the two cute horsies, snacking and chatting up a storm, on the back. They're probably talking about what they're having for lunch. I mean, what else is there to talk about? Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
Future generations will have figured out a way to grow bottles of wine - glass, cork and all - right on a vine. And they'll look back at us and be like, man, those people were so underdeveloped! Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
You're beautiful just like the afternoon sky, a branch of flowers, or a friendly little bird. Actually, no. I take that back. Those things are beautiful just like you. Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
A little cinnamon, a lot of butter, and a heaping cup of brilliance. But no raisins. Never raisins. Super-insulated. 100% cotton.