Welcome to Jakesgoodnewport!
Maybe it's a warning, maybe it's a statement of fact. Whatever it is, it's pink and cute and a damn near perfect match for your kitchen. Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
My favorite part about this oven mitt is the two cute horsies, snacking and chatting up a storm, on the back. They're probably talking about what they're having for lunch. I mean, what else is there to talk about? Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
A little cinnamon, a lot of butter, and a heaping cup of brilliance. But no raisins. Never raisins. Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
Future generations will have figured out a way to grow bottles of wine - glass, cork and all - right on a vine. And they'll look back at us and be like, man, those people were so underdeveloped! Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
You're beautiful just like the afternoon sky, a branch of flowers, or a friendly little bird. Actually, no. I take that back. Those things are beautiful just like you. Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
Find a man who looks at you the way this woman looks at her cookbooks. Scratch that. Just, like, find some really great cookbooks. Super-insulated. 100% cotton.
Who's a hero? YOU'RE A HERO. Congratulations, my dear. Please, have a slice. Super-insulated. 100% cotton.